Expressing Myself...

I am writing in the sea sand today,
Things I may not easily say.
I am gathering the courage to jot,
What, in cowardice, my craving mind did court.
Because the sea will wash away,
Anything I empty into the sands today,
And saying I Love You this way,
Will be stored gently in the waves.

I am screaming into the wind today,
To carry away what I say,
It's not really about being gay,
It's the safest of releasing my pain.
For confusion rocks my brain,
And loneliness eats from my plate.
And the wind may carry away,
My lamentations cried in this way.

I am writing on a rock today today,
Things which I am unafraid to say,
To shout that your grace and your name,
Has kept me safe in this time and place.
For I am nothing but an abandoned case,
Caught up in this worldly craze,
But your love did lift my spirits high,
And upon your wings do I soar and fly.

-Nii Saki-

Dza Nyonmo!

His arched back aches from the scorches,
And sweat burns his eyes.
His hands are sore and full of blisters
Bloodshot eyes ready to take on the world

I say to him arise!
Be seen,
Be known.

For the whip may hurt your back,
But it can never sting your soul,
Your spirit
Your identity.

Yes, hope comes from all over,
for Ataa Kpakpa has granted many unto us,
And it comes in all forms.
Ever towering giant ant-hills
Ever-green foliage and bushes,
The sweet scents of the lavender tree,
And the eerie whistling through the leaves.

I say arise!
Be heard,
Be seen,
Be known.

The kpanlogo drums echo it with rhythm,
The flute players blow it with passion
Xylophone players beat it out raging
And the fontomfrom speaks for itself

Arise!

For the days of slavery are over!
Physically, mentally, spiritually.
Take hold, take charge!
The reins are in your hands now.
Arise, my crawling black brother.
Arise and stand tall.
Wipe your brow with the back of your palm,
it's time to take action now.
Take a stride, o long gaited brother
And move towards possession
For God has placed all within reach,
All you have have to do is move.

T'is but mere laziness
For akpanga to postpone his building
Drinking brukutu and crying agyei m'awu
When the rains come pouring on his profound baldness.
Stand, o my strong black brother,
Let no one take your place.
As the sun rises,
And the sun sets,
The horizon is it's place.
The days of slavery are over.
They know it, we are free
And this time Kwasi Broni can not heal our fever,
And they are scared indeed!

Arise!
Be heard!
Be seen!
Stand up!
Hold up!
Speak up!
Take charge.
For no one can stand in your way.
No one, absolutely none.
Dza Nyonmo!

Where is our industry heading to?

I watched the trailer of an upcoming movie this afternoon, and man! I don't know what to say. I mean, the whole trailer had about 50 per cent of it being sex scenes, not ordinary sex scenes, steamy ones. Hmm, I wonder if original story lines are finished, or whether our movie stars think acting in such manner makes them better actors. Money? Yes. Fame? Yes. But reputation also counts. Does this prove my earlier post about people using sex as unique selling points? It has not been premiered yet, so I'll wait to see whether it really has a story line, or it's just sex, sex ,sex. Does acting nude scenes make you a better actor? Hmmm. if you want to see it for yourself, visit www.ghanainmovie.com and watch the HEART OF MEN movie trailer. Then you can comment, am I just making noise? Or I have a point?

Here and There...

Sex Sells?

I may be going on and on about indecent sex of late, I don't know why myself, but it's possible it could be the voice in the wilderness shouting.
It's amazing how many organizations now use sex to sell their products, or add sexually attractive elements to their advertisement packages.
Have you observed that almost everything now has a so called sex appeal? Check the adverts. from clothing to cars. Even perfumes! i don't know why. Is it because as they say sex sells? Or something else. I'm listening to you guys.

Here and There...

Sawasawasawale, Sawasawasawale, pam pam pam!

My mom, will kill me for even attempting to hum this song, she hates it, passionately.
It's recently that I've even found the song interesting, I don't like the lyrics though. I love the rhythm. Anyway, I didn't start this post to write about a song people love to hate. No, it's to speak about the rising number of hot-spots, in Accra. Don't know what a hot-spot is? Keep reading.
Some time ago, the ever popular soldier bar, known to be a notorious red light district was broken down, to the happiness of some people, and the displeasure of others. I was quite happy, thinking it meant the beginning of the end of such indescribable activities on our streets, at least, it will be reduced by a huge margin, or so I thought.

BUT NO!

They have relocated, they are now everywhere! Around the park by OBRA spot, in front of Vienna city, and all around that place. And their new location, LAPAZ. yes, Lapaz. I don't know if you are shocked, but I am. I had already heard they had taken their activities there, but I didn't believe it could get there. So I decided to check it out myself.(you know my kokonsa self).
It was around 9pm when I got there, and I stood by a pub around that place, just looking around to see what I could find. It was serious, the place is slowly turning into a red light district. After standing for sometime, I could tell which one of them was and which one of them was not. Hope you get the picture?
I walked to a spot where I could get a vehicle home, and an aged woman asked me to stop, politely. Unsuspectingly, I did stop. She came close and said "y3nko line 3?" (tr: let's go for a line). I smiled mildly and politely refused. continuing my search for a vehicle, I spotted quite a number of them loitering around, some old enough to be my aunt, no kidding. I kept wondering what drives them to do something like this.

My dad taught me never to judge, the bible teaches so too. Because you never know the motive, which GOD judges. So let me throw this to my readers, let's explore the reasons why people sell their bodies for sex. Is it greed, poverty, agbala, sakawa, I don't know. What do you think?

Tswa, Omanye aba!

Tales from Troskiville

I haven't blogged in a while, I know that. I'm soory. But i'm still around, and erm... never mind! Anyways, I'm still blogging, that's the most important part!
I'm trying to start a new story blogging series I call tales from troskiville. y'all know what a troski, or trotro is right? Well for those of you who don't know, a troski, or trotro is the name given to the public transport buses in Ghana. Simple!
I'd be doing some stories under Tales from Troskiville, but with different subtitles. There's a whole lot that goes on in a troski, and I think it will be fun to share them. Let's start with this one. some of you may havce heard it before...

STUPID
Kwesi was sitting a face to face seater troski on his way somewhere. There was this man cracking dirty jokes in the troski, and everyone was laughing, everyone except Kwesi. he wasn't laughing because he felt angered by the man's open display of filth, and the market women's open admiration of such filth, cos they were laughing. he kept going on going till he did the unthinkable, he turned to Kwesi after sharing one of the jokes and asked" or my brother, what do you think?"
Kwesi, lookd at him and just said "STUPID"
just once, and there was silence!
More troski tales coming up.

(and for those of you redaing this on facebook, read the original post and more on www.omanye-sane,blogspot.com)

Piloloo!

Piloloo yaafo b3 mli!
Somebody's wife is missing
The husband's heart is aching
And he's everybody dissing!

He's screaming and he's barking
He's shouting and he's cussing
He's stopped us all from sleeping
With his crying and his clapping!

Piloloo yaafo b3 mli!
Somebody's wife is missing
She left the house jubilating
I knew she was deceiving

But hey this is amiss!
I can't understand this
The man is making all the noise
I never saw them kiss!

The truth has been made bare!
This is too much to bear
He went to a bar and slept in there
His wife is missing. Clear?

Piloloo yaafo b3 mli!
Somebody's wife is missing

Rhythm of the heart

(heart beat)

I pound,
You pound,
Together,
We pound.
The single joy and happiness,
The only thing we've found.
Slowly and steadily,
And silently it sounds.
The evidence of pounding
Is as silenced as it sounds.

I pound,
You pound,
To a rhythm
We have found,
And love resides abundantly
To wipe out every frown.
The joy we share can only crown,
The distance we have come,
My heart says one, your heart says two
Together,
They pound.

I pound,
And find,
Your pound,
So refined.
A heart so pure,
And love I'm sure,
My sickness it can cure.
It does resound,
On beauty grounds,
To fairness it is bound.
So when you miss me,(so profound!)
Listen to your heart pound!

They offered to fix the road, and kill us!

I was so happy when I saw that construction work had begun on the road from main gbawe to the Zero house and bank Quarters area. Was quite happy till someone told me that Zoomlion had offered to fix the road, so that they could a place for a dumpsite in our neighbourhood. i still can't get it. they fix it, to kill us?

Maybe not one for me

Bought her flowers,
Promised her fun to the highest!
All around her, I'd flank,
Was to her, I was a gentleman!

I Opened all the doors,
I Made all the calls.
And when she spilled it,
I cleaned all the floors.

But she didn't notice,
Or maybe she did.
But to her,
I was good,
But not boyfriend material.

Cos I gave her a shoulder to cry on,
Not a reason to cry.
We shared crazy experiences,
I gave her something to laugh about.
Should I have told her,
That I loved her that soon?
I thought I had to be a friend first.
But a friend got there first.

Hey I did try,
But it was possible,
Very possible
That she may not be the one for me!

He comes to visit.

Obama.
What does he want?
A visit?
Or more?

And please, Agya Atta, don't call him Omaba.

Soldier bar broken. yay! but...

I watched the Accra Met Assembly break down the (in)famous soldier bar last time, and I thought it was a good sign, at least for starters. But does that mean breaking down the structures will put an end to the action going on there?

THe Devil In The Mirror

She knows God
He doesn't.
The gorgeous secretary's single
How come?
The factory's burnt down
Who did it?
God's punishment?
Satan's works?
The bishop's a fake!
Or wait?
Who's the devil?
Look in the mirror!

Answers?

"THE DEVIL IN THE MIRROR"
(A stage play by Roverman Productions)

National Theatre
4th and 5th July
2 shows each day
1st show 4pm
2nd show 8pm
20 Ghana cedis.
See u!

My Birthday Song.

Happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me.

Exactly some 2 decades and a few years ago, I was born. Growing up has been an experience, but the best part is, I'm still alive! thank GOD! And I hope to grow and become the real blessing GOD created me to be. Thanks to all of you who have contributed and are part of my life, I really appreciate you. I know with GOD on our sides, we can achieve anything at all. Love y'all.

Simply Annoying

I go to The University of Ghana, Legon, to give something to someone. There happens to be a graduation ceremony on that day, and I'm to deliver the item to the person at the graduation grounds. After going through all the hectic time getting there.I start calling the person, all to no avail. Then I get to know that the event is at the great hall. I pick a taxi there. Immediately I got there and get out of the taxi, I see a lady who walks up tome, thinking she wants to sit in the taxi, I hold the door open for her. But no, she brings out some curled ribbon cellotaped to a safety pin, pins it to my shirt and says harshly, give a donation. Can you imagine? Is that how to ask for money? Nearly marred my already disturbed morning. Any experiences?

The Hardest Thing

Hey guys, it's been quite some time since I wrote anything. Well here is me. Once again I'm gonna do this straight of my brains. And let's see how it goes.

(deep breath) here we go...

Hey you,
This is what I'm begging you to do.
I'll call me me,
And you, you.
So Cutie Miss You,
hear what i have to say.

I'm losing it,
But I want it.
Been around you,
Seen you laugh,
Cry,
Smile, (love that one!)
And frown. (still beautiful!)
But it's so far away,
Though you are so near everyday.
I share in the oceans,
Of your emotions
Deeply than you ever know.
I cry, laugh, smile, and frown with your flow.

Pretty Miss You.

It's been a while,
But I'm scared.
A part of me says yes,
Another doesn't.
So I'ma breath in and let you know...

Miss You,

I love you!
And I don't care whatever happens!

Hope we still remains friends though!
(Oops, Think I just threw the last of what we had outta the window)

Aight guys, this is how far my breath can carry me, I know some of you may be wondering whether it's true. Well, could be, couldn't be, whatcha think?

dats me!

u can try these stuff out yourself! but digg mine first. what do u think?

Ecominy, and the president said!

Quite characteristic about the new president Atta Mills is his ability to create ringtones. I know JAK couldn't do that. But hey, someone is saying his ringtone hasn't got SWAG (hope my hip hop English is right!). I feel the rythnm in the ecominy and the ofumtuo rhymes, and i think it's just fine, but a lecturere says it's not ...
Papa lecturer, you know book, keep. But me and my readers, we'll be singing ecominy ecominy ecominy, ecominy ofumtuo ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
anaa wo se s3n?

Some time with dad

A busy man went home late one night to meet his son sitting at the base of the stairs. He wondered why his boy was sitting there alone. "Hey sonny," the man started, "what are you doing here?" "Dad, let me ask you a question, how much do you make in a day?" Surprised by the boy's question, the father asked "why do you ask?" The boy did not answer, "how much do you make in an hour?" he asked again. "I make about Gh¢50, are you okay now?" "Please give me Gh¢25" "For what!" Replied the father angrily. "What do you need Gh¢25 for? Come on, off to bed!" The little boy got up and slowly walked with his head bowed to his room, leaving his father wondering. After a while, he decided to give it to him anyway, and maybe he really needed it.(after all, he could afford it.) He made his way to his son's room, and opened the door. "Are you asleep?" he asked into the darkness. "No." "Here son, maybe I was too harsh a little earlier on, here's the money, but tell me what you are going to use it for." The boy sat up, took the money from his dad, lifted his pillow, and brought out a number of crumpled Gh¢1 notes. Then he added the money and said, "dad, If I offer you Gh¢30, will you spend one hour with me tommorrow?"

aww.

How much time do we spend with people who are close to us? Are we so close to our businesses and schools that we cant even spend time together? Spread the love. The world will be a better place if we all we caring about one another. Remember Jesus who said, "whatever you do to the least of my brethren, you are doing to me." The choice is yours.

Fresh from my mind: A step beyond my tip.

Hey guys, I'm sitting behind a PC and I'm thinking, why don't I write a piece straight off my mind. I think a while, and see what I got. It's fresh, so it's not so edited. But anyways tell me what you think after reading it.

A step beyond my tip.
Saw her around,
I said "my time is now"
Went and said hi
Then she said "how?'
I said "I'm Nii"
she said "I'm Naa"
I said " I think we have a thing or two in common"
She said "how do you know, are you an angel or a demon?"
I said "i can't help it, lady you are fine"
She said "with you in addition, this is the millionth time"
I said "really?"
She smiled "really!"
i said "then it's the millionth time you've heard the truth, no deceiving."
she said "how d'you know?'
i smiled "I just know"
She said "either you are a fake, or you have a tree on which magic grows"
That hit hard, I'm kinda worried.
She saw the look on my face and said, "I'm sorry"
just then he came, and they got all kissy,
And here I was, feeling all silly.
She said, "oh Nii, meet my boyfriend Jimmy"
Don't really know her yet but this one was hurting.
then she got up and said "oh we gotta go."
believe me friend, it was a big blow.
Quite dissapointed, (but hey i tried)
She was just a tiny inch beyond my try.
i'm off it now, i'm a man!
But i'll write it, and hope when she reads this, she'll smile.

So there you have it guys, believe me, pure off my rusty brains. he he. but what do you think? any experiences?

Here and There.

They Did Something, But...

I heard on the radio the other day that some people who work at the red light district at soldier bar have been arrested and arraigned before court. That's quite commendable, but I don't think that's enough. Why do I say this?
I think the owners and those who run the place should be the ones arrested.
Other than that, the place will always be there It should be closed down. Period! This will at least reduce the number of such places y one, and one by one, such places will be reduced to the minimum.
what do you think?

Here and There...

I don't really fancy commenting on such issues but they contribute to bringing up the society, so I'll say, after all, who will if I don't?

Porn On The Pavement
One of the things that confuse me is how porn cds and mags are now displayed freely on our pavements. Don't believe me? Let me tell you. I've been using the overhead bridge at the Kwame Nkrumah Circle almost every day. The hawkers have taken over every piece of the walkway, leaving just a little space for passers by. I mean, they are not even supposed to be there! I know there's a mall just a few metres away for them, but they have refused to go there, and authorities care less. Anyway, that's not the point. What you would normally find the guys who sell the DVD's displaying is porn, yes, hard core porn DVD's with pictures on the covers. I mean, I know a lot of people love porn, yes but this is not where it's supposed to be sold. I even don't agree with the idea of porn at all. (but that's my personal opinion, hey?) And everybody gets to see it, even the "minors" who are normally kids who happen to use that place. I dont know what, but I think the authorities should something about it.

Soldier Bar Still In Operation
I have heard of so many operations by the police to stop the nocturnal activities of Soldier Bar. If you don't know that place, I'll show you. Soldier Bar is a place that looks so normal in the afternoon, but immediately it's night, it becomes a red light district. Still located around some corner at the same Kwame Nkrumah Circle, this place is an ordinary lorry station. Nothing looks strange in the afternoon but I tell you, things are going on. Let me tell you how I know.
We finished production rehearsals late one day, and we had a lift to Circle. One of my friends said he wanted to show us something, so he led us through a path I definitely knew, because I normally use that path in the daytime, I've never been there at night. It was a sorry sight! What I saw made me ask why all these were going on. Small girls, big women, teens, almost everyone, was in one revealing clothing or another, and the was music booming from surrounding bars. Almost all of them had a cigarette stick in her hand, and the place was just crazy. I passed through and I wondered whyt they had to do that.
But hey, I have heard and read, and seen on the TV several times the security forces busting this place. So my question is WHY IS IT STILL IN OPERATION IF IT IS AGAINST THE LAW? It's not like they don't know about it's existence, they do, but it beats my imagination why they go there, arrest them, and later let them run away. (I suspect something fishy!) It's sad, just sad. And I hear there are other places where these things are rampant. Please do something about it, anyone reading this who can.

Please write and let me know about your experiences, ort what you think. All contributions are welcome. Ghana is ours, where we will be depends on what we do now. Let's do something, NOW!
Tswa, Omanye aba!

The President will move!

Hi guys, sorry I haven't written anything for a while now. This is because I have been a little busy working on a play in which your's truly features. Mr President, Your Move, is a play by Ebo Whyte, a renowned playwright. This is a play with mixed items in the bag, and I recommend it for all. It is opening on Friday, the 20th of March, till Sunday, the 22nd of March. First show 4pm, 2nd show, 8pm. Be there! I will resume posting later. I have more interesting stuff coming up, stay tuned.
Tswa, Omanye aba!

Reflections

I always wondered what I had to say when someone asked me who a true Christian was, and I've been at sea for sometime. Then I stumbled upon a piece written by Maya Angelou about being a Christian, it made a lot of sense to me, so I decided to share it. Here it is...

When I say I'm Christian
I'm not shouting I'm clean living,
I'm whispering I was lost, now I'm found and forgiven.

When I say I'm Christian
I don't speak of it with pride,
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say I'm Christian
I'm not trying to be strong,
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say I'm Christian
I'm not bragging of success,
I'm admitting I've failed and need God to clean up my mess.

When I say I'm Christian
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are too visible but God believes I'm worth it.

When I say I'm Christian
I still feel the sting of pain,
I have my share of heartaches so I call upon His name.

When I say I'm Christian
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner who received God's grace, somehow.

what do you think?

Will you still love me...

Will you still love me,
If I told you...

I may stop whispering your favorite " I love you?" (Though I really do!)
I may stop complimenting your hair, beauty, clothes, and hair-do?
I may leave early for work, come home late, and admit it was business? (and traffic?)
I may work late hours and wake you up just for sex?
I may not speak when troubled and just shut up?
I may be boyish sometimes? (I'm a grown boy, really!)
I may have a character I find difficult to quit,
and I may not want to hear you tell me how to stop it?
I am just being a man?

Will you take me for who I am?
Or what you wish me to be?

Voices Along The Pathway

The sun beats down
On the African plains
And slowly, but steadily,
I make my way on the dusty path
To the base of the *Wala mountain
To strive to the top
(The very top I mean!)
And there they stand
By the pathways they scream and loudly whisper
"That's Impossible, *Onyeee Ofee, *Wontumi Nye"
Voices of confusion,
Discouragement
And Evil.
Throwing dust into my eyes,
Throwing sand, at me.

The journey is long
My feet are sore,
My throat is parched
And for a drink I long.
It's mid-journey
The end is not in sight
But I can't stop now,
So I push on.
But they are there too!
Screaming and loudly whispering
* San wakyi, *Kuu Osee
And they throw stones at me,
They hurl stones, at me.

I hit a wall
My strength is drained
But an inner voice pushes me on!
Almost at the top,
The sides are steep
My palms are sore
From clinging on to ledges
And preventing myself from falling
Into the dark abyss below
The end is in sight (It's far, though)
I can do this!
But alas!
Ever present voices of discouragement
Fling rocks at me,
They hurl rocks at me.

Finally, I stand
At the very peak of the Wala mount
Tired, but smiling
Weak, but fulfilled.
With renewed strength,
I stand out tall,
I look down at the pathway.
And I see how far I've come.
I still see them,
The nemesis of success,
But hey, I can't be bothered!
Cos they are down on their knees,
Bowing down, at me!

Tswa. Omanye Aba!


(*Translations: Wala means "life" in ga.
Wontumi Nye and Onyeee Ofee are twi and ga phrases for "You can't make/do it"
San Wakyi and Kuu Osee are twi and ga phrases for "Go Back")

The Untold Story

They ask,
Always they ask,
What have we got?
Have we got a legacy?
A history?

Reminiscing the days of our leaders
Obunumankoma, Oson and Odapagyan
Leaders so great
Who had typical African blood
Fought for their people, And had their names earn places
In vigorous war chants

Golden names of crowned heroes!

Going back to the days
When the albino was obeyed
With fear and trembling,
When no man, had balls, to say "f i"
She stood out tall, and fought
Showing the "mighty warriors"
That courage is not only embedded on a man's heart.
Nana Yaa Asantewaa,
Brace mother of Black Africa.
Your name is in Gold
Distinguished daughter of Africa,
Ayekoo!
Ayekoo!!
Ayekoo!!!

We fall,
We rise,
We fall,
We rise, and rise again

King Taki Tawiah, Nana Osei Tutu, Ayi Kushi
Proud holders of enchanted memories
In Red,
Gold,
Black,
And Green.
Have we a story?
Sure! We do!
let them ask,
But I know,
The holders of African history,
Have willpower too strong,
To rest on their oars.
So arise, arise, arise!
Authors of history call upon you,
To rise up and take hold Of your renaissance.
For it is only your children,
Who can change you.
Sleeping Mama,
Wake up.

When they ask,
I'll say "Modin ji mi."
and I'm proud to be African!

The Importance of the Unimportant!

I know a lot of you will write this off as one of those “silly jokes” of mine, but it is quite serious. It may sound quite trivial, but let it happen to you and you will know that it is not a laughing matter, and it is also important!

During my childhood days (as if I’m that old), my mom used to say that there were people on admission at the hospital, and the doctors just want them to fart (yes, fart!) so they could be discharged. I used to laugh a lot at this statement, and wrote it off as a joke. I even shared it as a joke a few times and it worked. But a recent incident proved to me that it was not a joke, not at all!

I was in a meeting, and I had a funny feeling in my tummy. I know that feeling; there was air willing to come out. However, I was enjoying what the resource person was saying so much that I decided to “keep it” (after all, I can do it later right?). I still felt those feelings, and I ignored them, thinking they’d come back later, after I was done with the meeting. I know a few people who’d “release it” there and then, but I am a gentleman you know! (Being gentle comes with a price!)
Well, meeting over, here I was trying to bring it back (sounds funny right?), that was when it decided to “flex” me.

Nonsense, if you won’t come, stay there!

I got my mind off it, went home, ate, and slept (of course I took a shower!). The next day started nicely, and I left off to “pick my moves” as usual. The morning was quite fine; it was fine until early afternoon when I felt a slight ache in my stomach. It wasn’t the usual feeling I knew. This one was different. I managed to finish everything and headed home. By the time I got to my neighbourhood, it was quite irritating. So, I stopped by the pharmacist to buy a sachet of Liver Salts, thinking it was “one of those things.”

The Liver Salts didn’t bring help. By the time I got home, I was feeling sorry I didn’t release it the day before. I still didn’t take this thing seriously, so I drank a lot of water after eating and went straight to bed.

As if I slept.

Man, I haven’t felt so miserable all my life. All I wanted to do was FART. No, don’t laugh, it’s serious. I
managed to sleep a little. It was just turning me around on my bed and I was really in pain. I hoped it would be over by morning, but, chale, it was worse. I couldn’t stand straight, and all this while, my prayer to God was to open the “floodgates” so I could just release it and feel free. I had to walk slowly to the pharmacy to buy drugs, I got there around 7 30am, and she hadn’t opened yet. (This means I had to go home and come back later!)

I bought food, hoping the food will force this nemesis in my stomach out, nah, it didn’t work. I went home lied down a bit, and came back after close to an hour. The Pharmacist was there, but she was on the phone. Man! I couldn’t stand. I’m sure she was talking to her sweetheart or something, cos she kept quite long. It was not until I bent over that she realised I was dying from you know what! (and that was after 5 minutes!)

I bought some tabs, which later proved useless. Then I realised this was serious. I told my dad it had gotten worse, so he asked me to see a pharmacist friend of his, and he put me on medication. It took me about four days to finally do what I had to do, and when it came, it was small. Ah! Come big so I can feel free but “petit a petit,” is that not it? So I began to cherish the small ones and hope for bigger ones. FINALLY, the breakthrough came and it was quite sizeable.

I’m way better now.

But I’ve learnt a few things which I’d love to share, you can do it, or leave it. But when it happens to
you, don’t say I DID NOT TELL YOU.
1.Watch what you eat. This is very important. And the times you eat. (At least know when and when not to eat.)

2.Never ever keep it. No matter who or where you are. No gentleman business please! Get out quietly, and let it rip!!

3.Wait a bit before going back in, so people will not know what you have been up to. However, if you can trust yourself that much, you can let out a “youssssouffff” (don’t ask me what it is) in there, but these are usually harmful, they can knock someone unconscious, so exercise restraint.

4.Feel good after doing it, cos after all there are people on admission because of that!

5.And if it ever happens to you, welcome to the club!
Tswa, omanye aba!