Hey guys, I'm sitting behind a PC and I'm thinking, why don't I write a piece straight off my mind. I think a while, and see what I got. It's fresh, so it's not so edited. But anyways tell me what you think after reading it.
A step beyond my tip.
Saw her around,
I said "my time is now"
Went and said hi
Then she said "how?'
I said "I'm Nii"
she said "I'm Naa"
I said " I think we have a thing or two in common"
She said "how do you know, are you an angel or a demon?"
I said "i can't help it, lady you are fine"
She said "with you in addition, this is the millionth time"
I said "really?"
She smiled "really!"
i said "then it's the millionth time you've heard the truth, no deceiving."
she said "how d'you know?'
i smiled "I just know"
She said "either you are a fake, or you have a tree on which magic grows"
That hit hard, I'm kinda worried.
She saw the look on my face and said, "I'm sorry"
just then he came, and they got all kissy,
And here I was, feeling all silly.
She said, "oh Nii, meet my boyfriend Jimmy"
Don't really know her yet but this one was hurting.
then she got up and said "oh we gotta go."
believe me friend, it was a big blow.
Quite dissapointed, (but hey i tried)
She was just a tiny inch beyond my try.
i'm off it now, i'm a man!
But i'll write it, and hope when she reads this, she'll smile.
So there you have it guys, believe me, pure off my rusty brains. he he. but what do you think? any experiences?
If this is off your rusty brains, then I'm in shock - a pleasant one - about your high skill. I liked this piece and the way it flowed quite naturally. No unwieldy, contrived lines or endings. It's good. Wish I could hear it read out loud on stage, for it definitely appears to be a stage poem to me. Great!
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